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第25章 守候瞬间的永恒 9（第1页）

第25章守候瞬间的永恒（9）

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我有很多年没有去她的墓地了，不过最近我去了。

她的墓地上长了一枝野花。

我坐下来，看着在风中摇曳的鲜花，明白这就像“古怪精灵”

的尾巴一样，绕着圈摇摆。

现在我明白了，这位特别的朋友将会一直陪伴着我。

你是我的阳光

MyFather'sShadow

琳达·钦·斯莱奇LindagSledge

Myhusband，Gary，aoHawaiifromNewYorkCitytoshowourfive-month-oldson，Timmy，tomyparentsforthefirsttime.Butwhatshouldhavebeenamissionofjoyfilledmerehension.ForfiveyearsI'dhardlyspokentomyfather.Lovihemaypicalofesefathers，hehadmadeparticulardemahoughwewereverymuchalike，we'dgroart.

Wheeeherheldupmymotherasamodeloffemininebehavior.Butshewasgregariousandsocial，whileIpreferredbookstoparties.Hepressedmetomihhisfriends'.Iinsistedonyownpanions.HeassumedI'dfollowinmymother'sfootstepsandenrollintheloiversitytostudyteadthatI'dmarryihe-establishedesetheislaledown，asheandmymotherhad.

ButIdidn'tsettle.Asbullheadedasmyfather，IescapedtotheUyofia，whereIfellihahaole，aswecalledsfromthemainland.Garyhadbluehaoleeyesandsandyhaolehair.Iaweweregettingmarried—iHawaii.Nohuge，clamorousweddingforme.MypareGaryjusttwodaysbeforeoursmall，simplewedding.AfterwardwemovedtoNewYork，asfarfromtheislandsaswecouldgetwithoutleavingAmerisoil.

Myfather'ssubsequeedroval.Hedidn'tvisit；herdidI.Wheelephoned，heospeaktome，andIneveraskedforhim.WemighthavegohehabitofseparatiiestrahenTimmywasborn，aaidalpullbacktotheislands.

OnthelongflighttoHawaii，memoriesofmychildhood，whenIwasmyfather'ssmallshadow，camefloodingback.Iwasthreeyearsbehindhimashewalkedbetweereesiioaughthighschool.Wheired，hecarriedmeonhisshoulders.FromthereIcouldseeforever."Youaremysunshine，myonlysu;hewouldsing."Youmakemehappywhenskiesaregray."Ilaughed，takiionasmydue.

Naldaughterwasreturningwiththefirstborgeion—ahazel-eyed，golden-skinnedhapahaole（half-white）childwholookedlittlelikehiscestors.Howwouldmyfatherreact？IfhedisapprovedofTimmy，ashehadofme，thebreauswouldbeplete，Iwouldurn.

Theplanelanded，andIgratefullyplacedag，hungryTimmyintomymother'seagerarms.Herewasinstantandunalaceofachildbyhisgrandmother.

Myfather'sexpressionassiveandhardtreeteduspolitely："Goodtrip？"TheiouslyatTimmy，whopromptlybegahersteppedbaalarm.Didhefihatthissquallibehisownfleshandblood？

Afterdimyparents'house，Garyaomyoldbedroom.MymothertuckedTimmyintoaborrowedaroomdo>

Fourhourslatermotherinstinctpulledmefromsleep.ThiswasthetimeTimmyusuallywokeforabottle，buttherewerenocriesofhunger，fulwails.Instead，Iheardo，sleofbabylaughter.Itiptoeddo>

Inthelivingroom，Timmylayonapillowonthefloori，hisplump，tinyfistsaggleefully.Hestudiedthefa，anAsianfaeddarkbytheHawaiiansun，withlaughwriheersoftheeyes.MyfatherwasgivingTimmyabottle，tighistummyandgsoftly，"Youaremysu;

Iwatthedarkwantihespell，theomyroom.ItwastheosuspectthatmyfatherhadwahebreachasmuchasIhad.Aroud，hehadn'tknownhow，aherhadI.Timmybecamethebridgeoverwhichwecouldreachforeachother.

Fortherestofourstay，thetensionslowlymelted.MyfatherandIdidn'tdiscussourriftdirekstoTimmy，wedidn'to.Havingclaimedhishapahaolegrandson，myfathernolongerdefinedourfamilybyuures.Curly-haired，hazel-eyedTimmywaslovedforhimself.

&otheislandsthefollowiimmy，nowatoddler，splashedihhisgrahesummerafterthat，theybuiltatreehouseoutofscraplumberablue.

Sopleasedwasmyfatherwithhisnewgrausthathetookearlyretiremeimmywasfour，tospeimevisitinghis"NewYorkfamily."Mysonandmyfathermadeahandsomepairastheywalkedtogether—theesegrandfatherhappilytrailedbyadifferent，boungshadow.

我和丈夫加里要从纽约乘飞机去夏威夷的父母家，为的是让五个月大的儿子蒂米与我们的父母见第一次面。

然而，这次本应快乐的旅行，却让我忧心忡忡。