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Section 3 Local RevisionsLanguage and style（第2页）

b.Revisieyle

Researchpapersusuallyainlyofinformationfoundinbooks，periodidothersourcesthatyoui.Therefore，aquestionyoushouldbearinmindis:Whatisthetoneor“voitheessay?Doesitfeelnatural?

Activity3-3:Usinganappropriatepointofview

parethefollowingtwostatements.Whiedoyouthinkismoreappropriateintheacademig?Why?

（1）InmyreseardthatthemativecriticismofJeffersonDavisplacesthefullweightoftheSoutheronhishead.

（2）ReseardicatesthatthemativecriticismofJeffersonDavisplacesthefullweightoftheSoutheronhishead.

Activity3-4:Usingunbiasedlanguage

&hefollowiainsawordwordsthatis（are）biased.Pleasefi.Discusswhytheselanguagesarebiasedandwhatyouakethemunbiased.

（1）Adoctorshouldalwayslookafterthebestiofhispatients.

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（2）Manisatool-buildinganimal.

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&isthaslearhosewho.

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（4）Agoodpoliowshisduty.

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3.Revisingwordsforadexaess

a.Revisingwordsforaccuracy

&writingisdtothepoint.Itusesavocabularyappropriatetothesubject.Ifyouknowyourtopicwell，youwillbeexawritingaboutit.Yourreaderswillklywhatyoumeanbecauseyouwilltellthemwithoutbeingvagueorfuzzy.You’llusetherightteicaltermsaailswhennecessary.

Activity3-5:Revisediforaccuracy

&hefollowingthstakeandseddraftsofastudeheinofIndiadifferencesdoyoufiwo?Andhowisthesedversioethaone?

&Version

&ionsofthefourmajorcasteswerespelledoutintheLawsofManu:TheBrahmi，theKshatriyascamethesed，theVaishyasfollowed，andtheSudraswereatthebottomofthepile.

TheSedVersion

&ionsofthefourmajorcasteswerespelledoutintheLawsofManu:TheBrahmieaterprettheVedas（holyscriptures），aherequiredritualsacrifices.TheKshatriyasweretobethewarriorsandsocialgovernors（evenkings）.TheVaishyasweretoteodtoengageinerordertocreatewealthforthetry.AsfortheSudras，theyweretobeetheservahreehighercastes-dwithoutmalient.

b.Revisingwordsforess

&hemosteffitristoedititforess.Youmayhavebeenstrugglingtothihroughasyouiledupalternativews.Oryoumayhavefalleofusihannecessaryjusttouseupspace.Ifyouletyinaldraft“”

awhile，youwillfinizeunnecessarywordsahemout.Yourreaderwillthankyou!

Activity3-6:Revisingdiforess

Thefollowiences（es）arewrittewordsphrases.Seewhatyouakethemmorecise.

（1）TheanthropologicalstudyoftheIers.

（2）Theratifioftheagreementbytheboardrequiresavoteofamajority.

（3）DuringthattimeperiodtheparkareaulatedwithIndianswhoweresulleninappearandmadealivingbywwithsilvermetal.

（4）Theproblemerisbyaerofbusinessandpolitics.Basicallythetwobeevirtuallyeilforallisaheyotbeaddressedseparatelyiyortry.